On Loan To One Another (GLGS) (Fortitudine Vincimus)

Below you will find an article by the badass known as Dennis Peacocke. I'm not going to give you all of the info on him other than the fact that I respect this man and if you wanna learn more about him and what he does click here.

Start off by reading what he has to say and then continue on to my follow up. This is like a puzzle with only two pieces, so I hope ya'll can put it together, but for the sake of this post both pieces are of equal importance. #yinyang

On Loan to One Another

A very close friend’s wife has untreatable brain cancer, and barring a direct miracle, is on her way home. Such is the common fate of us all: here, and then gone. To those of us who believe in life-after-death with one another, death itself is not frightening as much as it poses a severe and life-challenging relational interruption. There is no pain like missing someone who is a part of you. If not fought or repressed, it is a kind of defining reality that brings with it a unique set of insights.

Life is largely defined by the quality of our relationships. True happiness can never be experienced without intimate people connected to our own awareness of how we are experiencing life. When joy or pain are uncommunicated and left alone within us, they frequently morph into something misshapen and isolating. Isolation, real or imagined, is feared by even the most toughened and hardened criminals in prisons, and that is the primary reason why it is meted out as an extreme form of punishment. Healthy people "connect," and really healthy people connect deeply with others who choose to live in the light of being appropriately self-revealing.

When one considers a true marriage where the process of growing into oneness has been progressing for many years, the possibility of loss through death becomes something unreal. How does one remain "whole" if part of them is removed? The obvious answer is that we don’t. I’m not so sure that we are "less than" as much as we are "other than," if that makes sense. Those of us who have lost one parent before the other have watched that process take place in the one who remains; if we have not lost a life-mate ourselves, we have seen its powerful effect on others.

All of this brings me to the point of sobering musing. Ultimately, we are all on loan to one another until eternity. We did not create each other, no matter how much we have helped shape each other. God alone creates us, and then "loans" us to each other on the earth. Our eternal togetherness is assured by Christ’s words and commitments He made to those with whom He modeled intimacy in His short stay on the planet. "Bonded relationships" is a simile for heaven, and "separation" is another word for hell. Perspective is the gift of insight, and living in the ever-present reality of being loaned to one another carries within it the depth of truest love. It’s all a gift, and that is...

  the bottom line.

Me and Jeremy may not have been married, but we are from the same womb and spent nearly 18 years together on this Earth. During that time together we spent around 12 years sharing the same room and countless hours fighting each other (physically and verbally); imagining together (a shockingly and ironically grand portion of this time was spent on death-- i.e. cool ways to die and what not); dreaming together (i.e, becoming pro ball players, rappers); scheming together (i.e. future business ideas that were destined to fail); creating together (i.e. music); competing together; competing against each other; making people laugh; making each other laugh at boring ass family functions; influencing each other (i.e. music, potential female prospects); and doing tons of other hood rat shit that no one but two brothers can understand. 

What the flying cuss does all of this have to do with my stay in Rome?  | EVERYTHING | 

With the loan period of Jeremy coming to an end a new period has begun in my life; the period of discovery. So, as I am here in Rome "studying abroad" I must admit to all 18 of my blog subscribers that I am in fact not here to study abroad; I am here to further discover my purpose in The Good Lord's Grand Scheme. This trip to Rome is actually one of the first steps of many first steps into this discovery, and what many may not understand is that it is hard moving forward when all you can focus on is the past-- this is not to say I'm forgetting Jeremy or burying his memory and legacy with his physical body, because in actuality what I am doing is quite the opposite. So, by moving forward I am actually honoring Jeremy and remembering him for what he embodied; a desire to live life and love life to the greatest capacity possible.

None of this is to say I will be perfect or become perfect. In fact, perfection is never going to be my aim due to the fact that to be perfect is to be God and to have this desire is to have a lot in common with Satan-- this is the point where I say, 'and now I digress.' I am going to be flawed (knowingly and unknowingly) throughout my life, this I know; the key for me is to stay focused on The Good Lord's Grand Scheme as best I can and to avoid becoming discouraged or feeling like I am beyond God's saving grace. 

I've greatly hurt more people than any of you can imagine, and I'm sure there are more to come-- I'm sure some of those people are reading this; I've gone to bed countless nights questioning my decisions from that day wondering why I live such a self-destructive life, and I'm sure there will be more of those nights; I've acted and reacted in ways that in no way shape or form reflect the heart of Jesus or my family, and I'm sure there will be more instances like this. However, for every person I've hurt Jesus has loved me; for every self-destructive decision I've made Jesus has loved me; and for every time I've acted and reacted in a way that is the antonym of the heart of Jesus and my family Jesus has loved me. So, through all my shit Jesus has loved me. The least I can do is keep trying, right?

Jeremy and I had always planned on getting a tattoo together on his 18th birthday, so last January, on his birthday, I went forward with this plan and got the tattoo he and I planned to get. While the tattoo is simple (the Latin phrase 'Fortitudine Vencimus' and the initial of our last name with the first and middle initials of the four brothers on the corners of the last initial) the concept behind the tattoo is grandiose. The Latin phrase 'Fortitudine Vencimus' roughly translates to 'By endurance we conquer,' and this phrase, to me, carries more weight than almost any other. Because of this phrase, and what it stands for, I know that I can conquer whatever it is life throws at me and I know that all I have to do is keep on keeping on-- this isn't an easy thing to do, but it is what must be done. So, as you go on through life remember that you're going to fuck up, but it's okay; just keep trucking and don't be so hard on yourself; after all, it's your first time to live this life.

"That, that, that, that don't kill me will only make me stronger"- Dante, The Divine Comedy