Jared Brannon Killin It In Rome: My 13 Day Spring Break Recap: Paris, Greece, Gyros.

WARNING: THIS BLOG POST IS AS LONG AS GREG ODEN'S 'ARM'

This post will cover 13 days of spring break. That is right. My spring break was 13 days long.

Background Music.

PARIS

Wednesday: Rex and I decided to hop the 7:40am flight to Paris Wednesday morning which meant we had to hop a 4:20am bus to the airport which is a ways away. So, being that I can't fall asleep like most folk I pulled an all-nighter. After some here and there issues with getting to the bus we finally arrived at the airport--the airport is small and something to experience to say the least. We get to Paris, get to our hostel, walk to Notre Dame and the Pyramid at the Louvre, and then head back to the hostel and crash for a bit before the night's festivities. I wake up in the dorm to see a girl (one of our hostel roommates) that would soon show me she can get it, but that happens later.

Thursday: HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY! In Paris. Hm. Oh well. Wake up and drink a warm Guiness. Meet up with the girls, Casey and Rebecca, and head off into the wild blue French yonder. We walk to Notre Dame and meet up with Casey's friend "That Girl" that is studying in Paris. Get food. And we then witness a St. Patty's Day Miracle as we find green berets. Buy the beret. Rock it all day.

The Louvre. It was free which is good because no matter how hard I try to enjoy art I just can't seem to enjoy any of the art that you see in art museums--I prefer random art (i.e. huge paintings of elephant families). I had already decided that I would not look at the Mona Lisa. I've seen pictures and heard horror stories about how small it is and how you can't get close. So, while the snakes were spitting venom about how "when you're in Paris you have to see the Mona Lisa" I decided to set myself apart from the rest and make sure I did not look at it. I did accidentally catch a glimpse of the harlot Mona Lisa--I didn't know that the room I was turning into had her (it was unavoidable)--but, once I noticed I immediately shot my sight to the ground and walked to the back side where I would not see her. I then took pictures of the poor saps taking pictures of the painting.

We then proceeded on to the Champs-Elysees (famous shopping street) and the Arc De Triumph (big thing).

That night we raged for St. Patty and made our way to the Eiffel Tower (a big tower). But, all of that pales in comparison to the girl whose name I cannot remember that was our roommate at the hostel. She was in Paris visiting her friend who was studying there and was basically the most bad girl ever. Basic jest: cute blond, loves Bud Light, wants to study abroad in New Zealand because she loves the outdoors, sings in church, loves to rage, fun to flirt with, and kissed me on the cheek--she has a boyfriend--and said I was "the sweetest asshole" she had ever met.

Friday: We made our way to the Palace of Versailles, which is like the house Tyler Bean and I lived in plus a few odds and ends. Saw a creepy McDonald's ad for coffee. Shenanigans.

Saturday: Went to the Eiffel Tower again. Made our way to a famous hill that the French Basilica sits on without knowing it. Went into the French Basilica. On our way down the hill we stopped to hear a guy play and sing his guitar and it turned out to be one of the funnest concerts I had ever been apart of. It was like one of those "Freedom Fest" kinds of concerts where everyone was just smiling and laughing and singing together as this guy sang songs and cracked stereotype jokes at other people's expense--my style--but it was okay because it was all in good fun and he even cracked on himself and French folk. There was also a dude doing awesome tricks with a soccer ball while standing on a pillar thing. One of the best times I've had here for sure. I'm not even going to try and justify it with words.

We then left Paris.

Things I Noticed In Paris

I hate to say it but the French heads I ran into were all nice and spoke English to you without a problem. All that crap about them being rude: not true. All that crap about them being snobs about their lingo and junk: not true.

Food there was good. Banana and Nutella Crepes can get it.

I hate the metro. I wanted to shoot someone (my NYC friend agreed with me).

If you go 4 days in Paris without showering and wearing only your Chaco sandals you will have nastiness for feet.

Paris is expensive #EW.

Paris girls have style which made me say "she can get it" frequently.

It was cool. But, not for me. If I lived there I may like it more. I just need more outside. Also, some claim it to be the prettiest city they have ever seen. I disagree. But, to each his own.

Pictures From Paris:

Notre Dame

Prettiest Work Of Art In The Louvre

Picture Of People Taking Pictures Of Mona Lisa

View From The "Big Thing"

Creepyassness

Big Tower

Dude Turning Tricks

Awesome Concert

GREECE

Background Music For Greece. #dope p.s. I saw this guy in concert when I went to see John Mayer in Houston and it was soon after Jeremy passed away and this song is on point! HIT IT.

Greece was awesome to say the least. It's going to be hard keeping my train of thought so stick with me as best as you can.

Sunday: We arrive in Greece Sunday afternoon and while waiting for a friends bag to come in a kid called Stefanos my age comes up and starts talking to me asking what I'm doing here and introduces himself and says he would gladly show us around if we would like. He seems really nice and cool and says he'll call our hotel and get in touch sometime or see us around because the island isn't entirely large. Hitch a cab. Go to hotel. Realize our balcony view looks out over the ocean and Turkey. #dope. Walk around the beach. Do some exploring. Find a Pita Gyro.

Pita Gyros are the equivalence of a McDonald's cheeseburger tasting like a gourmet burger. They're dirt cheap, fill you up, and taste better than anything I've had while here. I basically lived off of those things and had 1-2 a day.

Monday: Rent bikes. Ride to Old Town (a town built within the town a long time ago as a fortress to protect Rhodians from Turks, Franks, Saudis, etc.). Hit the beach. Walk around. Pita Gyro. Pictures. Chilling. Run in to Stefanos and setup a date to go to some Greek bars and clubs on Wednesday night.

Tuesday: John and I have some alone time and decide to day drink on the beach and chill. It was cool because a tallboy or Prost beer was 70 cents and we got a bottle of some Greek liquor called Ouzo--John didn't like it so I drank his #humangarbagedisposal.

Wednesday: Beach. Chill. Walk around. Pita Gyros. Tired. Phone call from Stefanos.

John and I met Stefanos in Old Town around 10:30 even though we were hesitant--we've seen the dateline special about college students meeting "friendly" people over spring break and then dying--but we decided you only live once and when you're dead your done so let the good times roll. With Stefanos we went to a bar where a Rhodes guitar legend was playing with a cute brown head/eyed girl that sang, played the guitar, and played the harmonica. John fell in love with the girl because she can super get it. Stefanos turns out to be awesome.

Side Note On Stephanos: The guy is awesome. He's from Rhodes. Has an awesome perspective about the world and sees past the haze that most people can't see past. He studied in Sparta (home of the movie 300). He is saving up to move to Australia and go to school there. His favorite band is Staind but we didn't want to break his heart by telling him they suck.

Some of Stefanos friends met up with us. One of them was a girl that was just too cool--one of those girls you can just kick it with and have a great time with easily. We then went to another bar to hear some reggae music because they loved that kind of music. At that bar we met the owner and when I said I was from Texas his eyes lit up--turns out they had a Western themed month where they filled the place with Jack Daniels and dressed like cowboys and had swinging doors and made this place like a saloon.

Then, we made our way to the club. It was free. The music was fun. No one was grinding. So many of the girls there could get it. It was like they were all pretty, knew it, and weren't snobs about it like a lot of girls at Tech and other places. This one girl I saw was the ALL-TIME prettiest girl I have ever seen, Brown hair. Brown eyes. And she looked like a combination of the two prettiest girls I know in Lubbock whose names will remain absent from this post in an attempt to not come off as an addict to their looks.

Thursday: We ate at a fast food place called Chicken Stories where all of the chicken served there is raised in Rhodes. The food was excellent and the manager was very friendly to us. He was a salesman for their menu and damn good at it. He even brought us some spring rolls for free. On this day we all went and chilled at the beach. I pulled the trigger and got in the water. I wasn't wearing shorts so I went in in my underwear. It was cold but soon warmed up. I then swam out to some steps that sit up out of the water about 30-40 yards out or so and walked to the top of them and jumped off a couple of times. I was the only one in the group that was swag enough to do it #typical.

Friday: Happy Greek Independence Day. Beach for a bit. Walked around for a few hours by myself and did some exploring and alone time stuff. Pita Gyro duh. Watched "Hidalgo."

Saturday: Beach a bit. Last Pita Gyro. Bought some drinks. Went back to the hotel. Found that the hotel left us a complimentary bottle of wine #winning. Drank. No dinner. Fell asleep around 6-7. Woke up around 10. Everyone came back from dinner. Watched "Dennis The Menace" and some of "The Thomas Crown Affair." Phone call from the hotel lobby around 11 saying that Stefanos called and said to meet him at Old Town. Didn't go. Too Tired. Went to bed sleepy.

Sunday: Wake up. Eat a ton of breakfast. Board plane. Get home. Starving. Eat a panieri con funghi piccante (spicy salami, provolone, spicy salsa, spicy mushrooms) at Aristo Campo #wonderfullycheapsandwhiches.

Everyday Of The Week: Got tinted. Relaxed.

Things I Noticed In Greece

The dogs in Greece do nothing but sleep.

Cats are everywhere.

The people are very very friendly--to the point that I thought they were fattening us up for their cannibal feast at the end of the week (they didn't eat us).

They speak wonderful English.

Girls there are rare and gorgeous.

The guys look like the Jersey Shore cast #GTL.

Everything there is super cheap. 3 nights in a hostel in Paris = 90 euro. 7 nights in a hotel in Rhodes = 107 euro.

They live relaxed lifes.

I was made for the outdoors.

I'm not ready to settle down or grow up.

The older men like to go to the beach together and hit balls back in forth with paddles while rocking speedos--before Wednesday night we thought Rhodes was an island reserved for Gay Greeks.